The ultimate challenge is deciding which of these women is worse: Kellyann Conway or Anne Coulter. It might be possible at first to trade one for the other indiscriminately, but each woman has particular areas of expertise that makes it difficult to decide exactly who is the worst.

Ann Coulter is a well-known conservative political commentator, writer, columnist, and lawyer. She is the author of 12 books and has been baiting people on the political scene since the early 1990s. Coulter made her first national media appearance in 1996 after she was hired by MSNBC as a legal correspondent. In the years since, she has appeared on CNN and Fox News on a regular basis, with appearances on a wide range of other popular talk shows.

Kellyanne Conway is currently serving President Donald Trump as a counselor. She has been a Republican party campaign manager, pollster, and strategist for decades. She was appointed to Trump’s campaign in July, 2016 and promoted to campaign manager in August of that same year. She has been trolling Washington and cable television with Ann Coulter since the early 1990s. She has also appeared on several news and cable shows, but has stayed off the mainstream radar until recently.

Because Coulter and Conway appear to be clones of one another, it can be difficult to tell them apart and then decide who’s worse for America. That’s not going to keep us from trying.

Fashion: Coulter Wins…Maybe

Kellyanne Conway pulled no punches with her bold (that’s the correct word, right?) choice for Inauguration Day. While she dared to wear white shoes after Labor Day, the critics focused more on “Who Wore It Best?”

Meanwhile, Coulter has remained downright unAmerican, refusing to sport the good old red, white, and blue. Instead, she keeps her figure trim, her hair long and blond, her dresses slim-cut, her skirts mini, and her heels high.

Conway clearly wins this round. While Coulter wins in traditional fashion, when it comes to Kellyanne Conway’s Inauguration outfit, we all win.

Alternative Facts: Conway Wins

Politicians and D.C. staff lying to the media is certainly not new, and Kellyanne Conway takes it to a whole new level. Just two days after the Inauguration, Conway coined the term, “Alternative Facts” in defense of lies told by White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer. Going beyond “size doesn’t matter,” Spicer boldly (that’s the correct word, right?) claimed that the size of Trump’s inauguration was actually much larger than it actually was. The media only had photographic evidence, after all. This event was followed closely by the Bowling Green Massacre, a “terrorist attack” that never actually took place. Lying is one thing, but completely inventing lexicon and history is another level altogether.

However, Ann Coulter has told an impressive amount of lies. She has two different birthdates and won’t cop to either one. The first one is December 8, 1961 and the second is the same date, with the year 1963. What is clear is that she graduated from high school in 1980. While Ann Coulter has presumably authored more than 10 books, she has been accused of plagiarism. In 1998, Michael Chapman, a columnist for the journal Human Events, claimed that Coulter lifted several of his passages for her book, High Crimes and Misdemeanors. In 2016, John Barrie, the CEO of iParadigms, ran several of her book passages and columns through his iThenticate machine to compare them with existing works. Spoiler alert: there’s evidence of widespread plagiarism.

Comedy: It’s a Tie

KellyAnne Conway’s terrible stand up routine almost makes us grateful that she didn’t pursue stand-up. Almost.

While Kellyanne’s (terrible) comedy routine was intentional, Coulter’s has been in part accidental and in part on purpose. The accidental comedy occurred at a Comedy Central Roast for Rob Lowe, during which the jokes ran like a river at her expense. It turns out, she had never seen a Comedy Central Roast before. And it was brutal.

Speculation about her presence include the promotion of her newest book at the time, In Trump We Trust. Maybe her attendance was on purpose, but I don’t think she intended to be the butt of the jokes.

Being Spoofed: Conway

While Kellyanne has been spoofed several times on Saturday Night Live by the comedy genius Kate McKinnon, the best and most recent portrayal aims at the heart of Conway’s motivations.

Since before the 2016 election, Conway was spoofed dozens of times on SNL. Coulter, however, only has two notable spoofs to her name: this one during which Barry Gibb yells at her in 2005, and this one from 2009 in which she explains why she looks the way she does, that “…torture is good and Christian-y,” and how how she will live forever.

Sheer Fatigue: Conway

That SNL skit about Coulter living forever may not have been far off. She has not seemed to age or to even tire since her tirades began in earnest in the 1990s. Here’s a photo from November 2016, which closely resembles a photo taken easily a decade before:

CNBC with Peter Mansbridge (screen grab)

And here’s a photo of Coulter a mere three months later:

Good Morning Britain (screen grab)

In contrast, take a look at Kellyanne, who clearly didn’t get the memo that she’s supposed to be drinking the blood of unicorns to stay in shape. Here she is in November 2016:

The News (screen grab)

And here she is a scant three months later:

Kellyanne resembles what can only be a bag o’ walnuts. Coulter looks the same, but she’s been in the business of dealing with and dishing out crazy before KellyAnne Conway even thought of hitting our radar.

Defending Misogyny and Hate: Both

This does not even need any explanation.

Who’s worse? Based on this list, it’s really difficult to decide. But it’s not too hard to figure out who the losers are.

Who loses because of Ann Coulter and Kellyanne Conway?

We all do.

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