Good news for Trump fans! There’s a dating site dedicated to finding true love with other Trump supporters, so you can skip that awkward part of dating where the other person finds out you support a president that over half the country vehemently hates.
The site, TrumpSingles.com, claims to have thousands of users who, just like you, simply want to find love with someone who shares the same ideals as them, like racism, homophobia, religious intolerance and fascism.
And, unlike some other popular and traditionally-conservative dating sites, you can even search for same-sex matches on TrumpSingles.com, which is perfect for anyone with high-levels of internalized homophobia and self-loathing. Doesn’t get better than that, right?
Here are just a few examples of what you’ll find on TrumpSingles.com (names and photos omitted):
“Damn right I’m a BIG LEAGUE Trump supporter in southern CA and don’t care if you like it or not.”
Well, he sounds lovely, doesn’t he? Act fast, girls (or guys), he won’t be single for long at this rate.
“Hobbies: Cars, Fashion, Fitness, Guns, Liberty.” Enough said.
“…and a bigot according to the democrats” has got to be one of the top pickup lines used by Trump supporters these days. Oh, and his punctuation is deplorable, as well. He may want to include that somewhere.
Did Trump really conquer at those polls, though? Really?
We sincerely hope not, sir, or you’ve likely just poured your heart (and bank account) into something that will ultimately destroy you from the ground up.
Nothing else you need to know, ladies. He’s a Trump supporter. Go get ’em!
“I’m just looking for a girl to click with.” Like clicking on Brietbart stories while watching Fox News over a romantic candlelight dinner of roasted squirrel, perhaps? Also, he would love it if you voted for Trump. Or didn’t. That’s okay, too, but can you at least like him?
You get five credits for signing up for the site, but one credit gets used every time you view or send a message. Don’t worry, though, you can buy more ($20 minimum) or sign up for a premium account (that lets you become an “Exec,” “VP” or “CEO” member) if you feel like you’ll be spending a lot of time there. Oh, and if you’d like to get added to the “hot list” on TrumpSingles.com, don’t think you can do that just by being attractive or anything. You’ll have to pay extra for that, too. Because of course you will.
Or, rather than settle for online strangers, you could just drop $200k for a seat at Mar-a-Lago and find yourself within pussy-grabbing distance of the man himself.
A few things we noted while browsing TrumpSingles.com: There are a surprising number of minorities on the site. Like, really surprising. There are also a surprising number of profile photos that are either sideways, upside-down, feature flags, kids, cars, guns or all of the above, or are missing entirely.
Oh, and we’re pretty sure several of the accounts were set up just to troll unsuspecting Trump supporters, but we could be wrong, because, seriously, who would do such a thing?